When You See Another Woman's Body and Wish It Was Yours

It's that time of year again.

The weather is warmer, the swimsuits are out, vacation pictures are filling our social media feeds, and if we're honest... comparison is LOUD right now.

The other day I caught myself doing it.

I was scrolling mindlessly and saw a picture of another woman. Y'all she looked amazing.

Immediately my mind started going to that place. The place where you start mentally comparing every single thing about yourself to someone else. Her legs versus yours. Her stomach versus yours. Her progress versus yours.

Before long, I had gone from enjoying my day to spiraling in every single way. YES this still happens to us, even though we work in fitness and know what's true. Because we are human! 

But you know what? The crazy part is that nothing about my body had changed.

Nothing about my progress had changed.

And most importantly... nothing about God's goodness toward me had changed.

The only thing that changed was where I put my focus.

And I started thinking about how often this happens to us as women. We can spend weeks showing up consistently. We can be making progress. We can be feeling stronger, healthier, and more energized than we've felt in a long time. Then we see one picture, one woman at the pool, one friend on vacation, one fitness transformation online, and suddenly all we can see is what we aren't.

Which reveals that comparison isn't really a body problem.

I think it's a heart problem.

Because if I'm honest, when I find myself wishing I had another woman's body, it's usually not her body that I want.

It's what I think her body would give me.

Maybe it's more confidence. Maybe approval. Maybe feeling more beautiful. Maybe feeling more worthy. Maybe feeling like I've finally "arrived" or am "fit enough".

The problem is that no body can actually give us those things.

Not even the version of ourselves we've convinced ourselves would finally make us happy.

I've shared before that I was the smallest I had ever been in my 20s. The funny thing is, I thought reaching that goal would finally make me feel content.

Instead, I found another thing I wanted to change. Another goal to chase. Another standard to meet. Because the target is always moving in this culture we live in.

And I think that's why comparison can be so dangerous. It quietly shifts our eyes away from Christ and onto ourselves.

Instead of thanking God for what He's given us, we start focusing on what He has given someone else. Instead of seeing our bodies as gifts to steward, we begin seeing them as projects to perfect.

But that's not how Scripture talks about us.

Ephesians 1 says we are chosen, adopted, redeemed, and loved through Christ. Notice that none of those things are attached to a body fat percentage. None of them are attached to a clothing size. None of them are attached to how we look in a swimsuit this summer.

Our worth was settled at the Cross.

Jesus didn't wait until we looked a certain way before He loved us. He didn't wait until we had our nutrition figured out. He didn't wait until we felt confident in our own skin.

He loved us while we were still sinners.

That truth has become such an anchor for me because comparison has a way of making us forget who we are. It convinces us that if we just looked like her, then we'd finally be happy.

But the reality is that another woman's body was never meant to be the answer to a problem only Christ can solve.

One question I've started asking myself when comparison creeps in is this: Am I celebrating what God gave her or comparing it to what He gave me?

Because those are two very different things.

I can celebrate another woman's beauty, strength, discipline, and progress. I can genuinely thank God for the work He's doing in her life. Or I can view her as competition and allow envy to rob me of my joy.

The truth is, another woman's success is not evidence of the absence of my own.

Another woman's beauty is not proof that I've been shortchanged. Another woman's body doesn't diminish the value of mine.

God is not running out of blessings and He is not asking me to steward her body. He's asking me to steward mine.

That's why I think one of the most freeing prayers we can pray is, "Lord, help me be faithful with what You've given me."

Not what you've given her.

What you've given me.

Because at the end of the day, the goal isn't to look like another woman.

The goal is to glorify God with the body He's entrusted to us.

And when we remember that, comparison starts to lose its grip.

If this was helpful, follow us on Instagram @fitforhisglory for more encouragement and learn more at the Fit for His Glory www.fitforhisglory.co.